writeaway07

Growing Baby Bunny

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61 Posts
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Spanking vs abuse has been a hot topic in the nfl because of the Adrian Peterson case. For those of you who do not know, he is a running back for the Minnesota Vikings. He spanked his 4 year old son with a tree branch, pictures of his son got out that showed the welts he received from the spanking. I do not agree with what he chose to discipline his son with, but that was how Adrian Peterson says he was disciplined as a child. Spanking is not a racial thing it is more generational. There is a difference between discipline and abuse. Discipline you are not trying to hurt the child, but of course a swat on the bottom, hands, arms or legs is not going to feel good. Abuse the persons intent is to inflict as much pain as possible even when the child has done nothing wrong. I myself and my siblings were spanked, like so many others who are now in their 30's and 40's, and even some 20 somethings. I am not saying you have to spank your child for every little thing they do, there are times when you can just talk to them, give them time out or take away something they love. I also believe there are times when their bad behavior warrants a spanking. I feel so strongly about this because I've heard people say spanking teaches kids to be violent, I totally disagree! I have worked in day cares with children that were spanked and others that were not, the ones that did not get spanked a lot of times would hit the other children and throw things more than the children that were spanked. So where does their violent behavior stem from? Nowadays the children have more power than the parents, which is horrible. I know their are a lot of young people now that are good people who are going to do great things in their lifetime, but this is also the most disrespectful and deadly generation. They shoot in broad daylight not caring if there are children around, an elderly person will get on a crowded bus and they won't give them their seat. Or they're loud and obnoxious swearing on the bus. My generation would have never done things like this, we were raised to always respect our elders. I know this topic is something we'll agree to disagree on, but before we judge someone for spanking their child and calling them an abuser. We need to know their story as a person and a parent first. (Proverbs 22:15)

 

 

happyflowerlady

Fuzzy Kid Bunny

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311 Posts
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There is a definite difference between disipline and abuse, and we see this notonly with how people treat their children, but also their animals, and even their spouse sometimes. Verbal and emotional abuse can be very harmful to  child , and is not a good alternative to spanking a child.

When kids are very small, say about anytime before they are 3-4 years old; reasoning with them does not usually work well.
I remember my kids at about a year old, would get mad about something, and start bonking their head on the floor to show how mad they were. Telling them to stop didn't work at all, but a swat on the bottom (that usually landed them face first on the floor as well), would get the idea through right away that this was NOT accepted behaviour. When they were mad, they would still think about it, and then decide it was not a good  choice.

Running out into the road, or running away down the street are also things that have to be stopped right away, so they don't get hurt or killed; but just explaining that usually doesn't get the idea across to a small child.
Once the child is older, then you should seldom (if ever) need to spank them, because then you can reason with the child, or take away their toys, or some other method of disipline.

Spanking a four year old with a switch seems really harsh to me, and not necessary. I know that some children have been raised that way, but I think that is actually abusive more than disciplnary.
There has to be a balance, abusive discipline is bad, and no disipline is not good for a child either. It needs to be done with education in mind, not punishment.

 

Bunny

Marketing Team

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6,253 Posts
Karma: +94/-1
Omg you guys use the enter key XD. Holy block of text !LMAO!.

I don't think it's child abuse as long as it's with a hand, your own child, and of course not for small things. I wouldn't spank a child for arguing, but I would for being completely disrespectful.

For example: My brother Robert spilled orange juice. I said not to worry we'll just clean it up so mummy wouldn't slip on it when she woke up (nevermind I spent 3 hours scrubbing the floor the night before to get yogurt off of it, cordial, and other sticky shit under the table we hadn't seen fall).

Robert grabbed the paper towels with me then said he didn't want to do it. I said "well you need to, come on I will help" in a nice way. After much struggling to reason with him and show him he was not in trouble and we were working together I raised my voice and said he needed to wipe it because someone could get really hurt, or it would get sticky and we would get ants and mice if we never cleaned.

Robert said something to me that pressed a button, it was so disrespectful. I can't even remember what it was. He was 8 at the time. If he was my son I would have smacked his ass all the way to his bedroom and locked him in there (no, not with an actual lock).

What ended up happening was his father looked up from his game (3 meters from us) and told me off for being loud, and a fight ensued because he wasn't doing shit about the issues and disciplining his own son. 2 hours later (I stormed off to my room) mum slipped on the orange juice.

 

DancingLady

Growing Baby Bunny

Regular Member
70 Posts
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I do not think spanking is abuse unless it is done in an abusive manner.  A disciplinary act needs to be done without anger and done in a way that, while it may sting, is not going to injure the child.

Abuse is when a parent strikes a child in anger, to harm, with no good reason.  A spanking for breaking a rule, or behaving in a way the child knows they are not supposed to is simply a consequence for the wrong choice, meant to teach the child that there are consequences and one must learn to behave properly or face them.

I do not have a problem with parents who choose spanking, and I don't have a problem with those who choose other methods, but discipline needs to be carried out consistently or children do not learn how to control themselves and behave properly in public or in school.

 

tasha

Growing Baby Bunny

Regular Member
71 Posts
Karma: +4/-0
I got spanked as a child and it taught me to behave.I feel that there is nothing wrong with giving a child a smack when they are naughty as it teaches them not to do something wrong as there is a punishment that they will not like. This being stuck in the naughty corner and being sent to the room is not a punishment. I do feel that there is a diference between abuse and being smacked as there is no need to use belts and whips just a light smack that makes a sound loud enough to give them a scare. Abuse is a different story all together and it shoulfd not be tolerated.

 

happyflowerlady

Fuzzy Kid Bunny

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311 Posts
Karma: +30/-0
I think that different disciplines work differently on each child. For instance, my oldest son, when he was young, and had done something that I felt called for sending him to his room;had no problems with being sent there. I would tell him to go to his room and come bck out when he was ready to behave himself again.
That boy would sit in his room for HOURS, and when I went by the doorway and peeked in at him to ask of he was ready to come out yet; he would glare at me , and go back to whatever he was doing.

Now, my second son was exactly the opposite.
He hated nothing worse than being sent to his room and being left alone. He would walk in the door to his room, brush off any tears, put on his best angelic smile, and come right back out, beaming at me and assuring us that he was ready to be a good boy now.

So, you just have to try different disiplines and see what works with each child. As long as you are just teaching them how to behave, and not harming them, then I think that it is not abuse. 

 

tasha

Growing Baby Bunny

Regular Member
71 Posts
Karma: +4/-0
I have seen many kids nowadays that are not afraid of the wooden spoon and they actually enjoy being sent to their rooms as they can put on the playstation or use some form of technology so for us in our house this is not a punishment, it would be more of a punishment if they were asked to stay and talk at the dinner table.

 

Djeinus

Community Team

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228 Posts
Karma: +24/-0
I have seen many kids nowadays that are not afraid of the wooden spoon and they actually enjoy being sent to their rooms as they can put on the playstation or use some form of technology so for us in our house this is not a punishment, it would be more of a punishment if they were asked to stay and talk at the dinner table.
Actually, that wouldn't be such a bad idea.

 

tasha

Growing Baby Bunny

Regular Member
71 Posts
Karma: +4/-0
Yes especially with technology now, kids don't care to speak about anything and when they do they talk about a game or something they saw in a movie, so discipline would be great to make them stay and talk about their actual day.

 

Bunny

Marketing Team

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6,253 Posts
Karma: +94/-1
Interacting with family should never be a punishment!

 



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writeaway07 (writeaway07) is a Regular who has made 61 posts since joining Creative Burrow on 08:13pm Fri, Nov 7, 2014. writeaway07 was invited by no one.

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